After much deliberation with the authorities of religion and listening to as many sides of the story as I could I noticed many different things which ill probably lay out in a different series of posts. Two however I want to share now.
The first seems to be universally agreed upon by the vast majority of practices. Asceticism. Prayer, fasting, meditation and the removal of worldly things and thought. If I wanted to know God and who he was this seemed like a clear path. I didn’t know why or how it worked but I did consider the answers that psychology, neurology and other sciences give as well as the answers of adherents to the various kinds of practices.
The second thing concerns the evidences for religions. There were many religions/spiritual philosophes, that I was attracted to and still to this day admire greatly. But the exclusivity of Christianity caught my eye. Though all religions seem to have the same or similar themes but different practices and interpretations. Christianity is the only one that makes the claims it does. Like the The Actual Son of God, Resurrection and Ascension. Furthermore its the only one that I could find that offered any proof.
So if this guy Jesus was really the Son of God he’s the one I need to talk to. First I needed to establish if it was myth or if there was any evidence. If the definition for the practice of history is, knowledge by investigation then this is what I did, investigated.
Long story short the investigation comes to the contemporary disciples themselves. They claimed to be eye witnesses to the events surrounding his death, resurrection and ascension. Many of these eye witnesses were martyred. Now I could understand someone martyring themselves for a false belief that they grossly mistaken about. But these guys died making the claim to witness. For someone to willing die for a known and intentional lie I don’t get. Even if these guys got together and conspired surly when faced with painful death and torture someone if not most would back out right?
Why is that important? Well Christianity doesn’t work with out the resurrection. Many have claimed to be the son of God but no one had the power to prove it by bringing themselves back to life. The eye-witness accounts are not circumstantial but direct evidence in a court of law of which as I mentioned earlier I’m the jury here in my investigation.
So the next thing to look at was the scriptures themselves. I heard many arguments against their validity, or that the King James Version was the only correct one and many other claims about the bible. I may give a history later but they seemed to me to hold up pretty well to scrutiny. Also the inconsistencies in detail of the four gospels help to disprove coercion or conspiracy as if their deaths weren’t enough. The proof here being legal in definition.
Without further ado. For some reason by this time the bible started to make more sense to me and could at least to a degree interpret and understand it better. It helped to learn the history and culture of the people involved as well as the translation discrepancies in the text to ensure less confusion about certain things.
So I move on to studying the details of Christian theology, history and changes over time. Again this is a long discussion and I intend to post about it later. Even with my improved understanding the Bible was hard to get. There were just to many paradoxes/inconsistencies in theological dogmas and doctrines. I went to many different churches and searched for God every where but things just didn’t add up.
I really, really, really wanted to know God and get to the bottom of truth, reality and everything. I put my whole heart into searching.
I took the biblical approach to asceticism, fasting and prayer the best I could reason how. All this time I could feel something pulling inside me. Something I couldn’t explain. It was deep and to the core of my being. Where ever this path took me I know I had to do it if I were to have any peace on the matter.
Thank you for reading. I should be to the conclusion real soon.
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